Why Feminism needs men.

 

"Not another feminist post"

I can imagine you all thinking. Well yes and no. Yes because it is quite literally talking about the feminist issues we see today but also no because this is with a twist. 

We need men!

This article is me calling on men's support with these issues. We need men! We don't need them to think we aren't on their side, or we're here to call out or subject them to any misdemeanour, we need them to work with us and stand with us on these issues. 

Why? Because this isn't a women's issue, this isn't a mans issue, but a societal issue. We need men to work together with us on this one and not to banish them, more men need to become feminist and here's why.

Men are attacking men, not women.

With the difficult and horrifying, sad news coming to light of a woman walking home and being attacked and murdered, it is all fresh in our minds how this affects us as women. We all know that women have been told their whole lives to "stay safe", and we have taken measures and still do, to keep us safe. 

Well lit paths on the way home, keys between your knuckles, defence mechanisms, speaking on the phone, pretending to speak on the phone, trying to keep eye contact from males as you're walking alone. Wearing "suitable" clothing so to not entice any form of sexual assault or rape, because you know, we leave women accountable for their own attacks or rape. We teach our girls how to not be raped and how to keep ourselves safe, but we don't teach our boys how not to rape or attack women. 

Lets stop teaching our girls "how not to be raped", and teaching our boys to not rape.

I had an argument recently with a male peer on how statistics prove that men have their issues and are more likely to be affected by violence walking alone at night than women. But who are the ones causing the violence? Men. Us women don't jump out at night and decide to attack men. Men are physically stronger than us for one, so we're not going to jump out to try and assault them. But all in all, statistics prove that men are more likely to commit this crime.

"Not all men"

I'm not saying "all men", and I understand the "not all men" trend, of course not all men! But a lot of men, and we don't know which men. This is why men need to stand up and fight with us, alongside us. They are giving themselves a bad name, not us. We are simply calling out the behaviours so to keep our girls safe. I also understand a lot of cases are case by case merit, and females can be just as violent. But men don't feel unsafe walking at night because of women. Men don't feel the need to "cover up" in case us women assault them, wither it be physically, sexually or verbally. 

Misogyny, where does it start? Have a read...

Men have not been taught in years previous to be "submissive" to their wives so to not feel the wrath of their husbands, as Philosopher Rousseau writes in his book Émile, "it is for you to obey, just as nature wanted it," (1979, [1762] p. 478), and "woman is made to please and be subjugated' and so 'ought to make herself agreeable to man" (1979, [1762], p. 358). Mary Wollstonecraft makes an incredible argument back to Rousseau, calling out his points and having quite ground-breaking revelations during the time she was alive.

Philosophers and men throughout time have told us to be agreeable and to not disobey man. You only have to look at the reputation Cleopatra has, Cassius Dio and Plutarch are male writers just after the time of Cleopatra who write in favour of the Romans. Their bias is right there from the beginning and because of this they create this women with deviant qualities, addressing the way she used her sexuality in a way to "seduce" and capture these men, (Caesar and Mark Antony). This reputation has been passed down over the years, we only have to think about the reputation Cleopatra has in our heads today to see that Misogyny was rife in society just then as it is now. On the other hand though, the Arabic's talk about the scholar, philosopher and educator that Cleopatra was, an intelligent woman, yet we don't hear that. Do we? 

Did it start here? Who truly knows where it started, but the "Virgin Mary" is another example. Her purity and virginity being something men wrote about and documented greatly, creating this version of a woman that is "submissive", "pure" and is the ideal "housewife". Mary is only mentioned 19 times in our bibles works yet we have this great idea of who she was, when there is actually no evidence at all she ever existed, no discussion over her character nor what she physically looked like. Yet man made her out to the an emblem of how women "should act". It is all here, shaped throughout our history, this is not a new thing.

Women hatred forums are a thing.

No, misogyny is not a new concept, it has been around for years and we need to stop it. The hatred of women. There are books to explore this further and one I will suggest that we read, and especially mothers of sons is "Men who Hate Women", by Laura Bates. 

Did you know there are web forums all about hating women? About raping women, and assaulting them? Where it is glorified and even organised. No? Either did I. Laura discusses this to length in her book, and it is worrying. These are called "incel forums", extremely hard reading so please tread on the error of caution.

"We have come a long way", but there's still a long way to go.

So for those of you men and women who think "we don't have this in our society anymore, it's long gone. We've come a long way since then", yes you are correct, we have come a long way where women are now allowed to work, vote, drive and be a part of society. But these web forums still exist, this hatred for women still exists, and we need to stop it. We still have a long way to go!

Don't believe me? I'll further prove it to you! You don't need to look any further than rape culture tactics such as; men who sleep with women are "cool", but women who do the same thing are "sluts". Men are taught about masturbation and it's commonly talked about, but with women their pleasure is shunned. Need I explain more? It can get complex, but I'll leave it there for now.

I hate the fact just as much as you do, that men have been taught to suppress their emotions, to be "strong" and deny any likelihood of feeling. I hate the fact my son will grow up in a world that men are made to measure dick-size, wallet size, how many girls they've slept with or their rapist jokes in order to inflate their ego and have any worth in the world. This is wrong and it has to stop. 

We don't want to oppress men, we want men to help.

Men hate feminism because they feel we want to oppress them, but that's not the case. We don't want to become the oppressor, we don't want to "beat men into submission", all we want is to be equal to men and not to fear them. We know how it feels to be victimised and blamed for our assaults, we know how it feels to be subjected to harassment, and we don't want that for our men either, we want to help. We want the gender pay gap to stop, we want fear to stop. We just want to be able to live our lives freely as men do.

Education starts at home.

This starts at home. We need to educate our sons on these societal issues, we need to address the uncomfortable situations at home. We need to speak better in terms of other women. It is agreeable that violent people exist on all playing fields, no matter race, religion, sexuality or gender. 100%, there are also the issues such as higher suicide rates in men, and that is entirely correct.

But who created these issues? Because as a woman, I feel entirely comfortable talking about my mental health, but why do men not? I'll tell you why, because of men. Society created this ideology that it's "weak" to talk about our feelings, and therefore us women being the "weaker" sex, have already mastered this. Society gave us no option but to be submissive, until amazing women fought for our cause to get us where we are today. But we need to take this one step further.

Men created the society we live in, and us women are trying to fix that.

I entirely empathise with the problems that males face today, I have a son myself and I have no hatred for the male gender, regardless of being seen as a "feminist", as that's not the true meaning of feminism (the hatred of men), but rather equal opportunities for all. But we cannot stand up and fight for men when we are still oppressed, for us to come together and dominate all of todays issues, we need to stand together. We need to employ more women into power. We need to feel we have a voice, and we can't have that silenced just because of our vulvas, (reproductive organs).

Women are starting to take back their power, reclaim their sexuality and silence the misogynistic voices that have been ingrained so deeply in us for so long. Not without men having their say of course, on our bodies, on abortions, on reproductive practices, contraception, clothing and the list goes on. Men feel entirely entitled to tell us what to do and it has to stop. We don't tell men how to dress, act or to "smile". We appreciate them and respect them as our peers and we need them to do it back otherwise society is not going to move forward and their issues are not going to be addressed and resolved. 

"But women are better off in society because they don't get the same jail time for the same crimes"...

Another issue that was brought forward to me how women are better off in society than men, was the case of how women don't have the same sentences for their crimes, and I agree, that is wrong. But who created that? Men. The male Patriarchy created that issue by determining that women should "stay at home" and look after the kids, thus judges determining factors for jail time on the basis they have a motherly role at home. Again, a man-made concept. 

Male Patriarchy is just as damaging to men as it is to women.

And you wonder why we want to remove the male patriarchy of society? It's damaging to men just as much as it is to women. We all need to create a better dynamic to live in, because males are now becoming the victims of their fallen comrades who created this weirdly-shaped dynamic world we live in. It's benefiting no one and us females understand and acknowledge that, you males need to as well.

We need to work together on this, and we need men to stand with us. Show us who the "not all men" are, stand with us and be a voice for us. You all have mothers, you may have sisters and some of you have daughters. This is an issue that is for us all and by standing together we create harmony. We will fight for you too, but first we need to ask that you fight for us.

Banish Rape Culture.

Go against the locker room "banter" when a sexist and rape joke is told, educate your peers. 90% of rapes are by people we know, so you know them too. They are your friends, your siblings, your parents and relatives. These people are out there and they're not hiding in bushes, they are going to parties with you and society has embraced "rape culture" for so long that we normalise it. Stop normalising it, we need everyone to realise there needs to be change. We need to be the change, for our daughters, for our sons and for the future. 

Choose empowerment, because our sisters fought hard to get us here, but we have to keep going.

Take care,

Meghan x

My Psychic Gifts

"My Psychic Gifts" has probably worked and it's brought you here, thinking that I'm going to tell you I can speak to the dead or going to quote the famous movie "The Sixth Sense" with the "I see dead people", which isn't entirely true, but what I am going to explain to you, are the psychic abilities and "sixth sense" I do possess and how they came to be.  

Throughout my childhood, I had certain thoughts or "premonitions" that turned out to be true, but as a child I never really thought about them or understood what they were. I thought it was normal and that everyone could do this, so I never told anyone. What I did tell my mum was, that I had recollections of my past life and how I died. They weren't big believers in that sort of stuff so it was never really discussed and just kind of passed off as something a child would say. As I've got older, I have a greater sense of what I said as a child and how I do believe it to be true, or true to the extent in which I have vivid memories of things I can't just put my finger on. (They didn't happen in this life, I don't remember them in that way, but rather that I have memories of my death, but I don't know who I am, or exactly where I am, but I always remember the exact same scene, more so the feeling from that scene than the picture itself).

"The Cloud"

This part may be long-winded, but it's important. This is the story of the domestic trauma that really lead to the outcome of my psychic abilities protruding their heads.

With hindsight comes great power, the power to say "Oh if only I had did this, if only I had said this, or that". Hindsight is powerful because when we get to a place where we know hindsight, we are then at a place where "the cloud", that I talk about, has lifted. 

What is "the cloud" you ask? I can only describe "the cloud" in terms of a great mist, a great fog it feels, that entirely encompasses your brain, your thoughts and your cognitive function. You may have experienced this in the past or at some time in your life. Drama, stress, trauma may have occurred (or nothing at all), and you feel unable to think properly or to get your thoughts right. I'm sure it's happened to most of us, it can even happen when you're tired. So when I discuss "the cloud" throughout my works and writings, you will understand what I'm referring to and what state of mind I mean.

Domestic Abuse.

Well I had the cloud for roughly 3 years. Every day, for around 3 years. I couldn't think straight and I never felt able to recognise my own feelings and emotions from what was the truth and what was false. You see, I now live in total recognition of my own gut instinct. We all have a gut instinct, some may call it a "sixth sense", "intuition" or something altogether different, but we all have one, some of us just choose to fine tune it to make it sharper, and make us more aware of our "sixth sense". 

In hindsight, my gut instinct protected me from the minute I met him, but I didn't fully trust it then. I hadn't yet done the work on myself to become the full version I was yet to become. So as I've began this writing with, hindsight is truly a wonderful thing. "If only I had honed in on my gut instinct, I wouldn't be sitting where I am today", but that's exactly it. I wouldn't be here, with the psychic abilities I have now, able to fully trust my intuition, I would still be oblivious to how powerful I truly am. So I am entirely grateful for the 3 years of abuse, in a "hindsight" sort of way.

At the time I couldn't have been less grateful, this cloud never left. I blamed it on all sorts of things, "motherhood", my dad getting cancer, moving away from home, "grieving". But truthfully, my cloud was none of these things, but one person itself. One person that was chipping away at me daily, that I was entirely blind to see. I never noticed it at the time, I just knew something didn't feel right. My "spirit guides", or my "instincts" were screaming at me to wake up, to trust myself, to trust that I knew there was something not right, something not adding up.

"The Jigsaw" I created, which lead me to the truth.

(The jigsaw I talk about is a time in my life where I was being lied to in a domestic abuse setting, and it was my way of finding out the truth, this is that story of how I did that). 

And so my work to find out the truth began... I didn't just wake up one day and decide I needed to trust myself, or that I needed to start finding and literally creating jigsaw pieces for this masterpiece which I refer to as "the jigsaw" to come together. Oh no, it was slow. It took days, weeks, months that then turned into a year or two, to finally draw on all my sources to complete this jigsaw and stand back to reveal the final piece. 

To figure out a jigsaw, you need pieces. But what do you do when you don't have pieces? Well, if you're resourceful like me, you will make those pieces yourself. With this method some might argue that the jigsaw pieces then fit my bias, and that may be true... but I always tried and tested out my pieces before I identified them as a worthy piece. This would come in the form of asking people, close to the perpetrator, asking them to identify what I seen as a jigsaw piece, asking them to put their spin on things and asking them the truth. Ultimately, all I wanted was the truth. So, if a jigsaw piece did not fit, I disregarded it entirely. I was not there to waste my time to try and paint a picture of someone to fit my narrative. I wanted to fully believe that my gut was wrong, that I was wrong. That the jigsaw piece was some fathom of my imagination and that I, truly was, going nuts. 

Unfortunately, the more pieces I created, the more information I gathered from sources, the more I realised my gut instinct had been 100% correct and I was on to something. There was no eureka moment, in fact, just a sick feeling that never left. The cloud feeling that engulfed my full being. With my jigsaw pieces, and the cloud not leaving, I was unable at times to fully understand to the extent of what my findings actually were, but as I say, in hindsight, and with the help of professionals and friends, they were able to guide me on my journey to finding exactly where those jigsaw pieces fit into. Without my friends, my spirit guides (which I didn't fully recognise at the time) and these professionals, I fear to think where I would be with my findings, for ultimately it was my gut instinct and my friends who were able to give their outside spin on things to help me see where I was, where I needed to be and where I was heading if I didn't kick myself into check. 

You see, I have two little children, two little people who look up to me and their whole world is based around. "Mother is God in the eyes of a child", I couldn't fail for them. I needed to survive, I needed to create something, I needed to find my answers so to push myself down the right path. I questioned myself many times, I questioned my gut, I questioned the professional bodies and I questioned my friends. Thankfully, all were fully committed to my healing and my growth and therefore were patient in dealing with all my queries. Thankfully, they stayed by my side every step of the way and for that I am forever grateful. They guided me when I couldn't guide myself, they held me when I no longer had the strength and courage to go on. 

But my most important figure throughout this traumatic time, was my spirit guide/my intuition. When the cloud was there and I couldn't fully understand what was happening to me, I was somehow still guided on this journey to a better place. To a safe, and comfortable place of knowing. (Ultimately, away from my abuser and back home).

My Spirit Guides

Because I've always had this gift, I tried to push it away, I didn't want to be "weird" or "different", people look at you like you're mad when you try to explain this stuff, so I didn't want it. But what I went through in terms of my domestic abuse, I believe it happened to get me back onto the right track. I was given this gift for a reason, and I don't quite know what that is yet. But I now believe in myself and my abilities, and I don't think I would have if I hadn't had to rely so much on myself and my "Spirit Guides" through my trauma.

To trust in myself and my instincts, has been the biggest gift to me throughout this all. There is nothing I fear anymore, I know I will have myself at all times and if needs be I can call on my "spirit guides" to help. 

When I say "spirit guides" you might be thinking I mean ghosts or spirits, not entirely. I use the term "spirit guides" in place for "intuition" or "gut instinct", I'm not entirely sure which term I prefer or which rings truer to me. What my spirit guides do for me, is that sometimes I get information that I can't have known, I get information into my thinking and my consciousness that has just popped up. I might not have asked for this information and I might not understand it at that time, but it can come in the form of a thought bubble, as a message, or as a question. I sometimes see in my minds eye, a place, a colour, a person, a name or something entirely unrelated to whatever I may be doing at that time. I don't know if that is a being or simply an energy without a "being", a higher self or something altogether different, but I refer to it as my "spirit guide", it is a safe and beautiful energy, that I fully trust and feel comfortable with, I cannot see it but I can feel it guides me. 

Before I would have wrote this off as "random thinking", and depending on how stressed I am, sometimes the thoughts are simply compulsive, intrusive thoughts that aren't in any way related to my gut, (as we all get this sort of thinking).

The way that I differentiate between just normal intrusive thoughts and actual messages, is that I give myself time and space, I leave the thought or the image where it is and I will ensure I'm not stressed, I'll maybe have a bath, meditate or listen to my mantra (which is monks "OM" chanting at 432hz), then I will see if the thought comes to me again. Usually, my gut instinct has a way of making these thoughts or messages come back, and I will physically feel it to be true, but this took a lot of work to understand what is "overthinking" or an actual gut feeling. In the beginning of your journey into trusting your gut, you will find it difficult to differentiate between the two, wither it's just your own thinking or from another source, (i.e your intuition/spirit guides).

Sixth Sense

I've always felt like I've had a connection to the "other side" and at times throughout my life I have seen things out of the corner of my eye that haven't been there, that I know haven't been there but have put down to being "tired" or whatever else. I've looked at photos and pointed at people I don't know and can say their name totally unaware how I've known it. I've been in places where the energy is quite awful and I've had to leave, with no explanation. It's always been there and I've always had proof, but how much proof do we need before we believe? It's only as I am becoming more comfortable with this side of myself, learning my own boundaries of what energy I will allow in and what energy I won't, that I'm feeling more confident in exploring who I am and what way my psychic abilities show themselves. 

Being a natural empath, brings us that bit closer to the energy fields we live in and are surrounded by, they are so close we can almost touch. And if you just open yourself to them, that's when we can receive messages and realise how gifted we truly can be.

There are many different ways to explore your "sixth sense", we all have one and we may just choose not to use it. For instance, I do not hear things and I do not see ghosts walk about. But I feel energies, and I'm not fully aware yet if these energies are the spirits of people that have passed or what they are. I also receive messages in my consciousness that can be completely random, I can read a persons energy, see their visible aura and sometimes I'm able to draw experiences from their past that they haven't yet told me about, or very rarely I have had messages of their future, but not often does this happen. 

Predict the Future

I have been asked to "predict the future" and I always explain to people, that if I receive a message I will let you know, but I can't ask for it to come to me, it just comes in it's own time.

In the same breathe, I am not here to "prove" myself to anyone, this is not something I make fun of or mock. I don't pretend to be a "medium", and I don't go around handing out "advice" that comes to me, I quietly acknowledge all that I know within myself, this is the first time I have ever went public with any of it. People close to me have always known, most are completely supportive, and I appreciate sceptical people. I don't have answers for you, I don't know why I know the stuff I do, I'm still learning that myself, so whatever questions you have, I have already asked myself 100x over.

I was dubbed the "human lie detector" by those closest to me who seen how I worked with my "gifts" and exposed many lies, even if there were no evidence to prove it was a "lie". I no longer have to question people, I will just know now if what they are saying is truthful or not, and for that I can be thankful to my gut/intuition/spirit guide. 

This spans into all aspects of my life, especially relationships. If I make a connection with someone, I will then be able to feel their energy and tell many things about them without verbal communication. My kids are especially conscious of this. 

I'm a lover of science, of facts and of cold hard evidence, so this doesn't entirely fit my narrative of the world we know, but I admire it also, as it provides questions into what we know about the world today, and what we may not know. It is simply fascinating.

I am excited to learn more and to see what the future holds with regards to my intuition. I have been researching and studying NDE's (Near Death Experiences) and what science is telling us about them, about our consciousness. My own grandfather had a NDE and I wish he was here today to explain it all to me as I've only heard it second-hand from someone else. I find it fascinating. Quantum Physics explains to us that we are all energy, that the universe is energy, that we are all connected and the energy we cannot physically see is still very much around us. So what is that energy? No one knows. 

Trust in yourself.

I hope in a few years to come I can come back and update this blog, in saying how much more I've learnt by allowing myself to delve deeper into this topic. I don't think it'll go as far as mediumship, but I'm happy with where the process takes me.

I don't know who this is going to reach, and I don't know what way people are going to take it. But it's my blog, and I need to write this down for my own sake, to document for myself. Someone out there is maybe in the process of trusting their own gut, or maybe unable to identify what they're going through. Be it domestic related or not, there comes a time where we all need some guidance. And all I can say is, trust your gut, your spirit guides, your intuition or whatever it is you want to call it, because ultimately, it will only ever put you on the right path and show you the truth.

Take Care,

Meghan x